What is Matrescence?
and why do I talk about it so much??
Matrescence:
/mæˈtres.ənts/ [noun]
The physical, psychological, and emotional process of becoming a mother.
The largest, most targeted neurological reorganization of the adult human brain ever observed.
In the simplest way, think of matrescence as being similar to adolescence [the process of becoming an adult]; it’s a time of profound developmental change that impacts us in mind, body, and soul. From hormonal and physical changes, to relationship and identity changes, nothing in life is left untouched by the journey into motherhood.
The word matrescense was actually first coined in the early 1970’s by an anthropologist named Dana Raphael in her book Being Female: Reproduction, Power and Change… and then it promptly fell by the wayside, and didn’t resurface again in the literature for decades.
So now that we know what matrescence is… why do I talk about it so much? Simple, because I’m a therapist and I specialize in working with moms. And also because having this word for what I was experiencing postpartum became a lifeline for me.
I wish I could tell you exactly how many times I asked myself if something was normal or if I was losing my mind in those early days, weeks, and months postpartum, but I fear I can’t count that high.
The hormones.
The sleep deprivation.
The identity loss.
The overwhelming amount of information.
I was drowning. Then I learned that this phenomenon I was experiencing was not only “normal”, but that there was a word for it. Instead of asking myself, “am I crazy for feeling this way?”, now I was able to tell myself, “this is matrescence. This is real, and it’s all a part of the process of becoming a mother. I’m going to be okay.”
I feel passionately about not only studying matrescence further, but also sharing this word far and wide to support other mothers on their journey. Thankfully the word is getting more and more traction, you may have even seen the recent campaign to add the word to the dictionary by Peanut and Tommee Tippee, further solidifying its importance in our language and culture.
I’ve seen matrescence compared to a few other beautiful phenomena in nature, such as the four seasons and matriphagy aka spiderling consumption, but my favorite is the classic metamorphosis: caterpillar to butterfly. We spend our lives in one form, exploring, learning skills, figuring out who we are, and then somewhere between conception and postpartum we turn to complete goo, and emerge as a mother, as a butterfly. We’ll never go back to being a caterpillar. There’s no “bouncing back” to our ability to crawl on 16 legs, because now we have wings to fly with.
If you’re in the thick of the newborn stage and living this experience now, or preparing to watch your child graduate high school and reflecting back on decades ago, I hope you feel a sense of peace knowing that there is a word, a definition, a recognition of what women go through as they enter motherhood.
If you’re curious to learn more about Matrescence, I highly recommend the book titled “Matrescence” by Lucy Jones.
So I’m curious, is the word Matrescence new to you?
How do you feel hearing there is a word to define the complex, messy, love-filled journey through motherhood?
I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
With warmth,
Emily
If you’re curious about working together directly for therapy (available to California residents only at this time) or wellness coaching (available to all), please use the button below to schedule a call or learn more about my work at www.emilypelky.com.
